


Who To Die For

by LOvELeSsAfFAiRs



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Abduction, Actually nvrm this wasn't as good as I'd thought it'd be you probably won't cry or anything, Breaking points, Choose Who Dies, Choose Who Lives, Feels, Gen, It started out as something simple and turned into this, Kind of a happy ending I guess, Lmao jk I'm not that was my goal, Mind Control, Overprotective Kara, Psychological Torture, Rage, Sacrificial Kara, Sorry if I crushed a few hearts, Survival, Tears, Torture, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-24
Updated: 2017-05-26
Packaged: 2018-11-04 07:29:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10986279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LOvELeSsAfFAiRs/pseuds/LOvELeSsAfFAiRs
Summary: Takes place mid 1x19: Myriad“I have lived with loss - allow me to return the favor.” Kara stiffened, expecting the worst, but Non just gave her the whisper of a cruel smile. Turning his back, he made his way towards the edge of the terrace. “This is not over Kara Zor-El.” He glanced at her over his shoulder, eyes brimming with a dark intent as the corners of his lips turned down in a menacing snarl. “You will suffer like I have. National City is under my reign, but your reckoning has yet to begin.” Then just like that, he was gone.orNon is aware that, one way or another, Kara Zor-El must fall. There’s only one problem: while she might not hold the same years of experience and training under her belt, his soldiers are weak under her attack. She’s stronger then them - stronger then him, even - but that’s okay. Physical strength weighs light when one’s heart is added to the equation, even more so when one must choose between loved ones. It’s simple: kill one, and the rest can live. It shouldn’t, but her choice surprises him.





	1. If Death Has No Cost

**Author's Note:**

> So I got this idea shortly after watching the first season and it hasn't left my mind since. Basically, Non gathers up all the people Kara cares about and forces her to kill one. If she refuses to choose, he kills them all. Cliche, I know, but the ending is what's special about it. Also, just remember that I didn't have Non kill of Kelly yet so she'll be making a little bit of an appearance later. As always, I own nothing but a computer and a sleep deprived mind. Happy reading!

A sound like a dull _thud_ reverberates throughout the air, causing the walls of the building to shake lightly. You calm Cat and Maxwell with the lifting of your hand, heading out to inspect the noise. It's there that you see them all, lined up in a semicircle in the vast openness of the alleyway. For a second, you can feel your heart twinge with joy at seeing their faces, but the stoic electricity that flickers across their eyes reminds you that they're not themselves - not anymore, at least.

 

You swallow down your feelings, stealing a glare at the man - no, not man, the _monster_ \- responsible for all this chaos, for all this _death_. "Non." You growl out from between clenched teeth, and he gives you that arrogant stare: chin lifting upwards in emphasis of him looking down on you. As if you siding with anything other than your own species suddenly strips you of your Kryptonian blood.

 

He narrows his eyes at you, gesturing to your friends all lined up behind him. "I told you that I would make you share my pain Kara Zor-El, and they will be the ones to suffer." Your hands clench into fists at your sides at the words, such blistering heat building up behind your eyes that you can feel the blood in your veins start to sizzle and warm.

 

He notices - takes in the pulsing orange and red that starts dusting itself around your eyes like a fiery mask - and gives you a dark chuckle while shaking his head. "Ever the impatient child." A nerve along your face twitches, making the bridge of your nose crinkle and the top of your lip to pull up for a split second. It's fitting actually: he deserves to be snarled at.

 

But he just bares his own teeth right back at you gleefully. "Fret not, for I choose to be merciful. The majority of your friends can live, but one _will_ die Kara Zor-El." And just like that, the growing heat filling up your body sputters out and dies, only to be replaced by the icy frost of disbelief. "No." The word slips passed your lips before you can stop it, barely audible to the normal ears of a human, but you know that Non hears it.

 

He smiles. "Oh _yes._ And better yet, they will die by _your_ hand." You feel rage and fear both start to consume you, and a hazy blur starts overtaking your vision as your heart falters in its beating. You won't - you know you won't. Not even the end of the world could make you hurt your friends - your _family_ \- but you know that Non keeps his word, and that more than anything else causes your stomach to twist into a thousand knots.

 

"I won't." It takes more willpower then you would like to shove those words out of your mouth, wincing as they scratch and claw at your throat before tripping off the tip of your tongue ungracefully. He just glares at you, hands clasped behind his back as if he's still of high class - as if after all the mayhem he has caused that the honor of the House of El still runs through his veins. It doesn't, and you won't let him think otherwise for another second.

 

You part your lips to speak, but another voice cuts through the air. "You have no choice." You turn to look at Winn, ears stinging at the absence of the playful and snarky attitude that usually undertones his words. "Winn..." You whisper, trying to get his attention - trying to get the attention of the person buried _beneath_ Myriad's coding, but suddenly everybody wants to be heard.

 

"You must make a choice." James.

 

"Kill one of us." Lucy.

 

"And the rest can live." Agent Vasquez (how had Non even known that they were friends?).

 

"Fail to do so." Kelly.

 

"And we shall all die." That voice...it stands out more than the others - tears you away from the horror of seeing all your friends amongst Non's ranks - and a second later you're staring at your sister. "Aex!" You yell, moving to take a step forward before stopping yourself. Everything comes rushing back to you, and all your senses that had once been numb with shock snap themselves back into reality.

 

That's your sister - your _sister._ Something stirs deep inside of you at seeing Alex like this: emotionless and void, as if it's just her flesh being pulled around by puppet strings and the person inside is lost somewhere else. Red hot _fury_ burns inside of you, and you can't remember being this angry since the whole incident with Red Tornado.

 

You whip around to look at the man who you'd once considered family, feeling yourself standing taller as your jaw aches and throbs with how hard you're clenching it. "Non! Let. Her. Go." He laughs, actually _laughs,_ before responding. "I was informed that your were very fond of this particular...human."

 

He spits out the last word so disdainfully that you flinch, but not before a new streak of anger sparks through the very marrow in your bones. He turns to look at you once more, and you think you see something else dwelling in the depths of his eyes, something that looks a lot like insanity. "But you're still missing one, dear niece."

 

A _boom_ thunders off in the close distance, and you know that sound - you _make_ that sound - every time you break the sound barrier. A second later, another streak of blue and red crashes down in front of you, sending spiderweb-like cracks rippling throughout the pavement around the area of impact.

 

You can feel the tremor of the ground through your feet - can _feel_ the power behind that landing as it rattles your bones. Your cousin stands up, lips set into a hard line and face void, just like everybody else's. "There. Now your options are complete." Kal-El's voice is his own, but you know that those words don't belong to him. "Clark, please." You say, trying to reach out for him, but you know it's futile.

 

"He can't hear you - you know that." Non mocks, as if he's merely scolding a little child. You scowl at him, but you can't stop the tears that start burning at the corners of your eyes. "So, go ahead... _choose._ " He says, gesturing towards the options of people he's dredged up for you. You shake your head, resisting, but you know that you've been backed into a corner.

 

"Choose Kara, or they all perish." You can't help but wonder how you got here, and how things got so bad. It'd all started on Krypton with your parents and your aunt, and now it's followed you all the way to Earth. Your mind flits back to the memory of the Black Mercy, and of the paradise it'd put you in.

 

A false one, but a paradise nonetheless.

 

But then Alex had been there - had saved you.

 

The thought snaps you out of your stupor, redirecting you. She'd saved you, and now it's time for you to save her. You straighten up, facing the Kryptonian before you. "How about this Non? - a battle between you and me. If I win, you let them _all_ go, and then you _leave._ Leave National City, leave Earth, and you don't _ever_ come back."

 

You want him to accept - want the chance to see if you can actually break bone if you punch hard enough (even though you know that you can't). But he shakes his head anyway, sighing as if disappointed. "Unfortunately, I'll have to decline your offer, but I'll make this easier for you. How about I narrow it down?" You can feel dread crawling up your spine at the words, and a second later the only two members of your family step forward.

 

Kal-El and Alex.

 

Your heart plummets and you press your fingernails into the palm of your hand, wishing that your skin wasn't indestructible so that the pain could distract you from the horrible mistake you've just made. "And for a little added fun..." Non mutters the words under his breath, but you still catch them.

 

Almost instantly Clark and Alex sway on their feet, as if coming out of a long daze. Hope burns inside your chest, but it dampens when you notice that the flicker of life has only returned to their eyes. "They're conscious of everything, as they were already, but now you can watch their reactions."

 

"K...ka-ra." The word is choked and rough, but there's still that familiar way that Alex clicks the _'k'_  in your name. "Alex!" You respond, calling out to her. Her eyes are alive again - a whole different solar system then the one you know swirling inside of her irises. One that you could get lost in for years: a different kind of Phantom Zone.

 

A muscle near her jaw tenses, her teeth clicking together as she tries to speak again, but she still doesn't have complete control over herself. "...s...s-orr-y." You try to give her a reassuring smile, hoping she can read all that you want to say to her in your eyes, but you can tell that the fear in her own is blocking everything else out.

 

"It's okay - you're going to be okay." A dark grunt of disagreement follows your words. "Not unless you choose your cousin." You throw your deadliest glare at Non, your eyes burning with more heat than any sun you've ever thrived beneath. He just smirks. "Your time is up Kara Zor-El. Tell me, who do you choose?"

 

The moment you've been dreading has reached you. You twist around to look at your cousin and sister. You love them both - you need them _both._ They're family - the only two people in the world who you actually feel normal around. Not even normal really, just... _right._

 

But you know who you have to choose.

 

Slowly, as if moving too fast will cause the tension in the air to thicken, you turn to face your sister. "Alex..." You say uneasily, your vision blurring with the tears spilling down your cheeks. Her own eyes are clouded over with grief and confusion, but you can see her trying to fight through the haze - trying to focus on you and what you're saying.

 

"No matter what happens, I love you, okay?" A new stinging takes over your eyes, and the beginning of your heat vision causes any more tears you have left to sizzle and simmer into vapor. "W...wha-t? K-kar...a, wh..." You shake your head at her, causing her to fall silent. Something like a searing wave of hurt flashes across her face, before you see hard shards of acceptance settle inside of her eyes.

 

You angle yourself slightly, reading to shoot off into action - into battle - but you pause. "I need you to say it back." Everything's silent, and now there's nothing but pure confusion radiating from your sister. You can tell that Non's getting restless - can hear his shifting stance and clenching hands - so you try to rush this last goodbye. "I need you to say it back Alex."

 

Your words are a little louder, your tone a little bit more desperate. "I love you." It's as if something inside her mind clicks, and she nods at you slowly, eyes narrowed cautiously. "L-love..." She grits her teeth, and you can tell that it's hard for her to speak, but you need this - need to hear her say it one last time. "I...lo-ve y-ou...t...too." That's all you need to hear, and less than a split second later you're colliding with the opponent you've chosen.

 

Superman.


	2. Then Life Has No Worth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Takes place post 1x19: Myriad
> 
> "Kara, you gotta talk to someone at some point." Alex's voice is quiet - calming - but you keep your back turned. The glass around you glows with the green pulse of the walls, the Kryptonite within dampening your powers and leaving your bones to constantly ache. It hurts, but you know that you deserve the pain. You hear a sigh from your sister, and for a second the sound of her receding footsteps hurts you more than the Kryptonite. Suddenly though, her voice makes its way to your ears one last time. "You know what I don't get? You're stronger then him Kara, and he almost killed you. Tell me you love me all you want, but there's another reason you chose him." Her words hit closer to home then you would like, but then again, maybe that's just because they're true. 
> 
> or
> 
> The battle is fought and won quicker then anyone could've ever imagined, but the consequences of its betrayal are still very real. Kara figures this out the hard way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I realize that the last chapter was absolute crap, but I'm gonna keep it because...whatever, right? (and apparently people actually liked it so...) I don't usually write in second person, or in the not-very-detailed way that I did, but I'm gonna keep with that style because I don't want to throw the whole thing off. Also note that I wrote the chapter summary in second person as well, just because I forgot to write it in third person and I'm to lazy to change it. One last thing, I didn't have Kal-El be totally conked out because I wanted interaction between him and Kara, and because like I said, I'm lazy af. As always, enjoy!

It's a blur of blue and red, you and him - streaking through the air faster then any of the bullets that have bounced off of your chest or found solace in the grip of your palm. Kal-El grunts as you squeeze your arms around his midriff, his fingers clawing at your own as he snaps his head back to knock against your jaw harshly. You hiss in pain, a feeling like fire dancing across your flesh, but you don't let go. You can hear his heart as crisply as the chilly morning air of spring: beating strong and wild. The sound makes you feel sick to your stomach, and you regret your choice - but you would never haven chosen Alex.

 

Distracted by your thoughts, Clark manages to twist around, throwing you off of him. For a second, you just let yourself fall, entertaining the idea of not catching yourself. Then again, the harsh bite of the pavement wouldn't actually hurt you, so there's no point in it anyway. But before you can do anything, he's on you, hands gripping your arms and pinning them against your sides. You're dive bombing now, and he's yelling at you - trying to tell you something no doubt - but you can't hear him. You can't hear anything.

 

Everything's numb: your hands, your feet, your head...your heart. Somewhere below you is your friends - is  _Alex_ \- watching you with bated breaths. You shouldn't even be doing this: fighting Clark, he's not the enemy. Non is, but Non has the upper hand. Over the shrieking of the wind rushing passed your ears Clark forces you to look at him. His hair is tussled and messy, but his face is calm, even as his eyes betray the storm of emotions tearing at his insides. "Kara! Listen to me, I'm not being controlled anymore -" Of course he's not, Non wants a fight, and he can't get that when one of his opponents is merely a mindless drone programmed to fulfill Myriad's duties.

 

"We can stop him, together!" You're shaking your head even before he's finished speaking. "No, we can't." Clark looks torn and confused, but you can't say anymore - can't seem to get your throat to form more words. But that doesn't matter, because a second later a grim realization settles across your cousin's face: Non's in control. One thought - one twisted _whim_ of his - and he could have Myriad forcing your friends to kill themselves. Or worse, kill each other. You're powerful, strong - stronger then anyone here - but you don't take risks. And more importantly: you don't take lives. So if fighting Kal-El is the only way to continue toeing behind the line of your morals and keep from ending Non to just  _end_ all of this...then so be it.

 

Clark gives you a nod - gives you _permission_ - and some part of your soul rips itself away from you at that action. "Do what you have to." His words are barely a whisper, his voice whipped away by the wind, but your ears catch them right before they shoot off into space. They startle you, making you falter.  _Do what I have to?_ You shake your head at him, halting both of you as you finally catch yourself in the air. You both level out, circling each other. You drift away from him, cape billowing behind you, red as blood. He blinks, surprised. "Wha-" Ignoring everything else, you gather all the heat you can behind your eyes, shooting them at him in concentrated beams.

 

Kal-El shoots backwards from the force of the blow, the sleeves of his suit simmering from when he'd raised them to protect his face. "No, you do what  _you_ have to do." Your throat is raw for some reason, making your words choked and hard, but you ignore the pain - ignore the guilt eating at you from the inside out - and you throw another punch. He catches your fist in his own, teeth bared. "No way, Kara! You better not mean that." You headbutt him, your whole body rattling as you strike him over and over again. But you pull your punches, because you  _know_  that only one of you can be allowed to walk away from this, and by Rao it needs to be  _him._

 

You won't let it be any other way.

 

He grabs your arms, trying to stop you, and you can tell that he's holding back too. "Fight me." You barely mutter the words, but you know that he can hear them. He shakes his head, letting out a gasp as you throw him off of you and send him flying. "Fight me!" You're angry, you're frustrated, you're  _scared,_ and you need him to be too. You know what pushes you over the edge - the wrath of your anger is unimaginable, as you're sure his is too - but he's not there yet. "Time to make you mad." You growl out, shooting off - faster then sound - only to crash into him and land blow after blow across his face. You don't know what to say, or what would make him mad, so you just start with the basics.

 

"I hate you." Halfhearted and completely untrue, but they affect him anyway. You can tell by the way his heart falters in its beating for a split second, and in the way his jaw clenches in order to hide the flash of hurt that shoots across his irises. You delve up bad memories, going to that place hidden in the shadowed corners of your mind that you'd turned your back on so many years ago. The second you touch on those hidden feelings, those  _raw emotions,_ it's like the fire hidden behind every scathing glare and every bit-back remark surfaces.

 

And you aim it all at Clark.

 

"You talk about Krypton as if you actually knew it." You have an opening to snag his cape and throw him across the sky, but you don't. "You talk about its  _loss_ as if you actually saw it explode. But you didn't Kal-El,  _I_ did." You throw a wide blow, opening yourself up for him to catch you around the waist and send a kick to your torso. You grunt as the wind escapes your lungs, noting how that blow had hit harder then the last few ones.

 

"You grew up here, on Earth - you don't know  _anything_ about  _home._ " Anger -  _real_ anger fills you up at this - but you force it back down. The goal is to get him angry, not yourself. "Stop this Kara! I  _know_ you don't mean that." He looks at you so openly, so trusting, and tears burn at the corners of your eyes as you clench your hands into fists at your sides and spit back with, "You think you're some kind of hero - you're not - and your parents would be  _so_ disappointed in you." That does it, you can tell. Clark  _charges_ at you, an angry yell slipping passed his mouth as he sends you plummeting.

 

You barely catch yourself in time before hitting the empty street below you, shooting back up to meet him midair. "And you know what Clark? Even  _I'm_ disappointed in you!" Not true, but your words make him yell louder - hit harder - and that's exactly what you wanted. You keep going. "That's why I chose you! You think I would sacrifice Alex?" A mix between a cruel bark of laughter and a broken sob tears its way from the depths of your throat, because you can't even begin to imagine doing that. You steel yourself, facing your cousin with narrowed eyes. And this time when you speak, you  _mean_ it.  _"Never._ _"_ His heat vision hits you right in the face, a sharp crackling pressure piercing your flesh so viciously that you scream.

 

You tear yourself away, wincing, before returning fire. A bright light forms between the both of you as your beams clash, your lighter baby blue wave pulsing against his darker azure one. "So that's it then?" His voice is quiet, and yet it feels like its thundering from all around you. A shiver crawls up your spine, and for a second, you understand why some people fear him. Without warning he's on you, sending you careening downwards. "You made your choice?" You crash against pavement, stars bursting before your eyes as your head snaps back against the harsh concrete.

 

Pain -  _real_ pain - shakes you to your bones, but you stand up anyway. "Y-yes." You answer, faltering on your feet as your vision sways. "You... I would've never chosen a-anyone...else." Your throat's dry, your head hurts, and you just want to  _rest,_ but his bristling presence before you has your senses on high alert and your heart pumping wildly. Clark walks up to you, hands clenched into fists with a dark shadow stretched across his features. "Good to know." His eyes start glowing, and you think he's going to do it - you  _know_ he will - but suddenly an explosion rocks you. You fall down, wincing as dust rushes over you and heat nips at your skin. Noise assaults your ears: a mix of screaming and gunfire, but that's all you can make out before the hints of darkness lingering at the edges of your vision consumes you completely. 

 

~~-~~

 

 "J'onn got there right on time - used up the last of his strength to shield my mind and fight off Non." Alex's words are hollow against your ears, explaining to you what went down after you'd blacked out. There's a long pause, until finally you hear, "Kara, you gotta talk to someone at some point." Her voice is quiet - calming - but you keep your back turned. The glass around you glows with the green pulse of the walls, the Kryptonite within dampening your powers and leaving your bones to constantly ache. It hurts, but you know that you deserve the pain. You hear a sigh from your sister, and for a second the sound of her receding footsteps hurts you more than the Kryptonite.

 

Suddenly though, her voice makes its way to your ears one last time. "You know what I don't get? You're stronger then him Kara, and he almost killed you. Tell me you love me all you want, but there's another reason you chose him." Her words hit closer to home then you would like, but then again, maybe that's just because they're true. You stay in that cell for what feels like forever, not that they're making you. The door is wide open, and Lucy has shuffled into the room more than once to turn the Kryptonite dampeners down, only for you to turn them back up the second she leaves.

 

Guilt eats away at you, but more than that, you just feel...tired. Without warning, you begin hear someone else enter the room. Their heartbeat is different though - similar to your own - so definitely not Alex or Lucy.  _Kal-El._ You think, a weight bearing down on your shoulders at the thought. You'd known the confrontation was coming, but that didn't mean you were looking forward to it. Slowly, you turn around, facing your cousin. You expect to see hate in his eyes, either that or cold indifference, but all you see is understanding.

 

It sends a shock through your heart.

 

"I understand why you did it." He starts out, voice low and familiar, making your ears sting along with your eyes. "I didn't at first - but I get it now. You didn't choose me because you cared about me less," With every second that passes your heart starts beating harder and you open your mouth to speak, but why? He's on the right track after all - might as well let him finish. "You chose me because I was the only one who could actually put up a fight." He takes a single step into your cell, wincing as the Kryptonite dampeners leak into his bloodstream and make his veins pulse a dim emerald.

 

"You weren't planning on winning, were you? You were planning on dying." There it is - those words: the  _truth_. You bow your head down, trying to shake your head and shield yourself from his view with the curtain of blonde tresses that falls before your face, but he tucks them behind your ear and looks you in the eye, smiling a little. "I shoulda known you'd be one to sacrafice yourself." A mix between a sob and a laugh escapes you at that, and before you know it you're wrapping your arms around him, hugging him close to you.

 

"I'm sorry." You whisper against his ear, heart lifting as he wraps his own arms around your smaller frame. "I didn't mean what I said." You can feel him nod slowly against your shoulder. "I know." He murmurs over and over again. Time passes like that - you two hugging. At one point Lucy steps in, turning down the dampeners once more with a sad but relieved smile thrown your way. You smile back, and this time, you don't get up to turn the dampeners back on again. Clark suddenly pulls away, clapping his hands on your shoulders. "Now, we have work to do. And you have a planet to save." You smile at that, nodding and walking out with him. He can't help you fight Non - something about the after effects of Myriad's control causing him to have random lapses in his powers, and fainting spells.

 

But that's okay: this is your job to do. You're going to take Non down, one way or another.

 

Even if it kills you.

**Author's Note:**

> So I know I didn't really think through this whole two-shot and take all options into account (like, you're probably asking yourself why she didn't just attack Non either way and beat him) but I'll be honest I'm writing this at 10:00 pm all in one go, without a Beta reader, and I'm completely winging it so give me a break (I've also been listening to the same two songs on repeat for the past few hours so...) Anyway, I hope it was at least somewhat enjoyable. Thanks for stopping by and reading!


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